You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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