dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
