who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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