We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
