She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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