The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
