i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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