Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
