when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
