never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
