Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
