Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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