'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
