I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
