i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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