This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i believe in u and ur pee
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
