He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
