I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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