4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
