I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
