Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
