I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
