i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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