i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
