the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
