my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
