I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
