Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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