i wish my penis had a tongue
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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