I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
