stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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