it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Found the puke drawer
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
