My nipple is on Facebook.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dear god my vagina.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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