Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
