Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
