does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
