Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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