I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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