Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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