oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize