Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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