This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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