also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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