Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
