I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
