you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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