is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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