Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This baby is an asshole
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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