windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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