You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
