you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
