I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
