I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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