I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
