Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
