We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
