Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
