those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
